“A gentle “no” reminds others that you are valuable and models self-care.” When we set boundaries At first, we may lash out and be reactive. We may apologize and feel guilty. We need to get to know ourselves to understand our lines. Setting kind boundaries gives people a chance to get to know us better. …
“This type of positivity is a denial of reality because there is no acknowledgment of challenges that might be in the way of organizational growth.” When Pessimism Reigns There are times in an organization when a pessimistic story is the the main story of some folks. The story is usually told by those people who …
Rationalizing Harmful Behavior People are usually able to come up with a justifiable, reasonable reason for their behaviors. This is how defensiveness shows up in your organization. If given enough time, a person can find a reason “why” they reacted in a way that they did even when they might have harmed others or the …
“It happens naturally when a business is thriving and growing. Sometimes systems are not intentionally put in place to foster cultural infrastructure, which breeds HEALTHY conflict and solutions for this conflict.” Everyone around you agrees with you. And that is not a good thing. You have wonderful allies and supporters. Your tolerance for negativity low …
“Many of the biggest blockbuster movies use the format of the hero’s journey, which is a storyline that crosses all cultural boundaries. Stories in Our Lives Narratives are the stories that most people get hooked into. They are the journey of the hero. Many of the biggest blockbuster movies use the format of the hero’s …
“They see people as chess pawns and move them around when others begin to see through their actions. Unethical and Toxic Leaders Can an organization with unethical and toxic leaders be successful? Obviously, yes. These leaders often get away with breaking laws and people until they are forced to stop. Then, these leaders find a …
“The system functions at whatever level it needs to in order to accomplish the goal. This is systems theory in action.” Your System is Functioning-Even if it Doesn’t Seem Like it. The biggest “Ah Ha” moment, when it comes to understanding systems, is that your system IS achieving a goal. It may not be …
“There is a cognitive reason why you are frustrated with the people you lead.” Your Mind is Just Full There is a cognitive reason why you are frustrated with the people you lead. Here’s a scenario: Tamara is a Chief Engagement Officer at a medium sized company. She’s been leading her team for four years …
Everything’s Fine…Or is it? There are some things that have become normal. People leave your organization to the tune of at least once a month, but that’s just the “Great Reshuffle.” Aren’t employees quitting instead of working it out lately? What does it mean when people keep quitting? It seems like there is something missing. …
“There is a cognitive reason why you are frustrated with the people you lead.” Your Mind is Just Full There is a cognitive reason why you are frustrated with the people you lead. Here’s a scenario: Tamara is a Chief Engagement Officer at a medium sized company. She’s been leading her team for four years …
“The loss of a leader could mean a lot of things. The first assumptions that people make are the politically correct ones: They are seeking a change of scenery; They would like bigger growth opportunities; The are looking for a new challenge.” Losing One of Your Best Sucks As you wish your former employee/leader their …
Facing Backlash as an Ally In a previous post, I discussed how hard it can be to be an ally. You face defensiveness and backlash from many different sides. People will question your intentions and will even insult you with the intent of silencing and harming you. It comes from all angles and it can …
Being an Ally Can Be Hard If you have committed to Allyship and are working toward an equitable world, it isn’t easy. I recently ran a workshop on equity, diversity, and inclusion with another consultant here at Mud and Lotus. We got a question that stuck with me and I have wanted to write about …
Managing Conflict Research is showing that changing someone else is hard.When we walk into managing conflict, there are generally two people who are solid in their stance and changing that stance is not easy. Helping them find solid ground and “get along” is going to take some skill and finesse, but it is possible. …
“Holding people accountable is not for the faint of heart and here are some pieces of advice that have gotten us through these moments.” Accountability Can be Tough We have been there…too many times. Getting called into an environment where a small group of people have gotten away with something for WAY too …
